So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
