Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
