Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
