i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Let's get the cat blown out
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
