Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
