Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
