the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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