Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Randomize
