I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Randomize
