Well apparently he's into motor boating.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize