sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Randomize
