If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
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