Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
