just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
