She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
