As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
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