I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
