so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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