Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
