how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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