That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
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