conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
