cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Randomize
