doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize