...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
