I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
