Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
