Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
