Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
