If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
