My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Randomize
