...so i touched it.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
