so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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