We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
