I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
