those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
