just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
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