Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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