I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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