I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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