hotel room ftw
we made out on top of his cat.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
