hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
