EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
