I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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