I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
