I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
