So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Of course I have a pirate flag
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
