I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
