i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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