I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I wish i was in the wii world.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
