Say something about gay babies.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Randomize