Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
vagina is talking i cant
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Randomize
