so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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