Who did Billy Mays play for?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize