I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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