look no pants
Your tits are I can't wait for
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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