So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize