So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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