if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
