I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize