I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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