dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Why is there bacon in the couch?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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