You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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