Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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