its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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